Greeting Cards for people who hate greeting cards
You know what a birthday card is? It's a card you receive on your birthday. It doesn't have to have Happy Birthday printed on the inside. Can't you write that yourself? And do you even need to say those exact words anyway?
I contend you don't. The early success of this business suggests I may have been wrong.
But if there's one thing Gideon Grey was right about, it's that I don't know when to quit. Anyway, these cards aren't going to change your life or anything, but they might make you laugh. Perhaps even guffaw.
Is love in the air? Or did you just eat a burrito bowl from Chipotle? Either way, we've put together a group of ten cards that address everything from butt sex to break-ups. So share the love. Or whatever it is.
When I say, "I hate your guts," I really mean "gimme them guts." Or do I? Context is everything, I suppose. In any event. if you actually hate someone, perhaps you shouldn't send them anything, as you are wasting your time and energy. If, on the other hand, your humor is a mixture of the funereal and diarrheal, then welcome home.
Our team of caring professionals has handpicked a group of ten cards to help you express yourself to friends who can't seem to wear their hats any way other than backward. Topics range from being a big loser to being a huge loser. Basically, it's a Trump stump speech in the form of ten greeting cards.
You know that guy who walks by your house every so often with a backpack and headphones on? The one you later see perched atop the low-hanging branch of an oak tree smoking a cigarette and reading what is likely an essay by a German philosopher? I don't know that guy either, but he probably wrote most these cards.