I'm a little late with this, but I wanted to give the earbuds a fair chance. It's been a few years now, and I still can't figure them out. My workouts, sporadic as they may be, essentially consist of adjusting my earbuds. That's my workout. One falls out. And one: I put it back in. Then one starts sounding faint, so I mash it in a little farther, at which point the other needs adjusting. And two: then one of them falls out again. Then I throw the earbuds down. Then I just hold them in my ears with my hands and sit on a workout mat while I watch other people exercise. That's when I start crying, but after a while it just looks like sweat. And three: I've made a lot of friends at the gym. What happened to those Walkman Sport earphones? Or whatever they were called. They're hard to find, but they actually work. I've come to expect more from Apple. Thanks to their advertising. So I'm giving the least user-friendly earphones on the market, from the most "user-friendly" company in the market, the title of worst invention ever.

To bastardize a Spoon hit from a few years ago. Anyway, living in the ghetto on a student's budget while trying to make it through the first year of law school takes some work. Just as important, though, it takes some creative thinking and some relatively cheap distractions. In my orientation packet, I received a pamphlet entitled "How to Succeed in Law School". I didn't read it, but I imagine it's packed with useful tidbits. Instead, I read a fantasy football guide and it has definitely helped me out. My team is currently steamrolling through my league, thanks to the handsome Tom Brady and late round pickups like Braylon Edwards and Wes Welker. But that's just one of my keys to success. Here are a few more keys if you find yourself in a similar situation to mine:

Buy a lot of records. I highly recommend the above album by Jens Lekman. I'm actually going to see him in Atlanta pretty soon. I also recommend taking road trips to transient-filled cities teeming with smog. As for the show, there should be plenty of gay hand clapping and gentle swaying, both of which are hobbies of mine. The album itself, Jens' latest, is superb. If you wish Stephin Merritt would take his Lexapro and Jonathon Richman would listen to a little more Motown, then this is for you. And if you like Scott Walker, you'll put the first track on the next mix you make for that girl who won't sleep with you.


Watch classic films. I saw the above film when I couldn't sleep one night. It made me want to kick a lot of ass. Here's a brief synopsis:

That kind of inspiration is important when you're feeling like the world is on your shoulders. Like maybe you just can't pass Civil Procedure. Or like maybe you just can't deal with another bicycle being stolen from your porch. The Rock is a hero for our troubled times.


Invest your low-interest student loan money in EBay. Specifically, the goods EBay has to offer. I bought this Ham Radio set for $129 last week. I've been talking to truckers and other Home Hammers ever since. Not only do I enjoy my new Ham Radio, but I'm sure I could go back on EBay and sell it for like $130 or something. Like I would ever do that!


Be real. A great way to do that is by watching reality TV. I am currently enjoying Kid Nation. It airs all the time on my TV because I paid extra for DVR - I'm still waiting for them to kill the fat kid. A good friend of mine says he likes the show because it beats the JC Penny insert when it comes to "yanking material". I told Chad I had no idea what he was talking about, and I urged him to take his hands out of his pockets. I enjoy this show because it teaches us grownups how to live our lives more purposefully. We'd smile a lot and laugh a lot, and we'd say things like "doodie" and "cooties". We'd also wear tshirts all the time letting other people know of our respective hometowns, and reminding us which bus to hop on when we're really disoriented. Kid Nation is the most important reality show since Big Brother 7.

If you have other suggestions or secrets for success, I'm all ears.

It's Pepe.



So, anyways, I'm still in law school. So far, so decent. We had a discussion the other day about the legality of selling body parts/organs. It was said that we need statutes banning the act because "people will do anything for money" and sometimes that thing is not in the best interest of that person (even though he or she can't see it at the time) or society. "Seriously," our teacher said, "people will do anything for money." I wanted to say, "Like go to law school", but I was too busy checking my fantasy football lineup. I'm still working a bit on the side, too. I also still watch a lot of television, which means I watch a lot of commercials. Commercials have definitely reached their intellectual height. I only hope it's a plateau. A long, long plateau filled with miles and miles of the Alltel nerds, growing problems (and solutions), and earnest voice overs telling me how GE and BP are changing the world for the better. I believe that passionate male voice. Earth is in great hands. I doubted him for a second, but then some Nick Drake-like strumming convinced me otherwise.

Anyway, how about that Ellen? Apparently, she boarded some dogs at Bad Newz Kennel. Inconsolable.

The big news of the week, though, is Stephen Colbert. He threw his name into the hat last night. And like most everything he does, it was pure Colbertious. He told Jon Stewart on The Daily Show that he wasn't ready to announce yet; he wanted to wait for a bigger, grander stage. He then announced minutes later on his own show. He says he'll only campaign in South Carolina, his and my home state. He also mentioned that he wants to run on both tickets so he can lose twice. But it's really just a criticism of the other middle-of-the-road, fence-sitting politicians. They're all alike, so why not run on both tickets. For that matter, why have two tickets? All politicans suck your dick. Republicans do it for money and Jesus and Democrats do it for kids and indigents. Or so they say. Anyway, we're all headin' for a good dick suckin'. What we're not heading for: better schools, better infrastructures, cleaner air, and an end to terrorism. But, hey, we're gettin' our dicks sucked until next November, so buck up little cowboy. Colbert 08!

Um, what up with David Copperfield? Is he still married to that Brinkley girl? Man, magicians have all the luck.

From Wikipedia:

David Copperfield said in August 2006 that he has found the "Fountain of Youth" in the southern Bahamas, amid a cluster of four tiny islands called Musha Cay, which he had purchased on July 14th of that year. He claims that the water brings dead leaves back to life, and brings near dead insects back to life. He said he has hired biologists and geologists to examine its potential effect on humans. This claim echoes the precursor to many of his previous illusions and seems to predict what his next illusion will be.

No need to hire those biologists anymore, David, apparently the "Fountain of Youth" "rapes" women. Presto! You've just been inseminated against your will!

Pleads guilty.