To bastardize a Spoon hit from a few years ago. Anyway, living in the ghetto on a student's budget while trying to make it through the first year of law school takes some work. Just as important, though, it takes some creative thinking and some relatively cheap distractions. In my orientation packet, I received a pamphlet entitled "How to Succeed in Law School". I didn't read it, but I imagine it's packed with useful tidbits. Instead, I read a fantasy football guide and it has definitely helped me out. My team is currently steamrolling through my league, thanks to the handsome Tom Brady and late round pickups like Braylon Edwards and Wes Welker. But that's just one of my keys to success. Here are a few more keys if you find yourself in a similar situation to mine:

Buy a lot of records. I highly recommend the above album by Jens Lekman. I'm actually going to see him in Atlanta pretty soon. I also recommend taking road trips to transient-filled cities teeming with smog. As for the show, there should be plenty of gay hand clapping and gentle swaying, both of which are hobbies of mine. The album itself, Jens' latest, is superb. If you wish Stephin Merritt would take his Lexapro and Jonathon Richman would listen to a little more Motown, then this is for you. And if you like Scott Walker, you'll put the first track on the next mix you make for that girl who won't sleep with you.


Watch classic films. I saw the above film when I couldn't sleep one night. It made me want to kick a lot of ass. Here's a brief synopsis:

That kind of inspiration is important when you're feeling like the world is on your shoulders. Like maybe you just can't pass Civil Procedure. Or like maybe you just can't deal with another bicycle being stolen from your porch. The Rock is a hero for our troubled times.


Invest your low-interest student loan money in EBay. Specifically, the goods EBay has to offer. I bought this Ham Radio set for $129 last week. I've been talking to truckers and other Home Hammers ever since. Not only do I enjoy my new Ham Radio, but I'm sure I could go back on EBay and sell it for like $130 or something. Like I would ever do that!


Be real. A great way to do that is by watching reality TV. I am currently enjoying Kid Nation. It airs all the time on my TV because I paid extra for DVR - I'm still waiting for them to kill the fat kid. A good friend of mine says he likes the show because it beats the JC Penny insert when it comes to "yanking material". I told Chad I had no idea what he was talking about, and I urged him to take his hands out of his pockets. I enjoy this show because it teaches us grownups how to live our lives more purposefully. We'd smile a lot and laugh a lot, and we'd say things like "doodie" and "cooties". We'd also wear tshirts all the time letting other people know of our respective hometowns, and reminding us which bus to hop on when we're really disoriented. Kid Nation is the most important reality show since Big Brother 7.

If you have other suggestions or secrets for success, I'm all ears.