What a game. The Cocks of South Carolina did what they have hinted at doing for the past five years: they actually pulled out a W against the Bulldegs of Georgia. I decided to head down to the game early Saturday morning. Hopped in a truck with another dude, picked up yet another guy in Columbia, and headed over to Athens. Considering you have to get on I-20, the drive was surprisingly not bad. Once on 78, the drive is actually beautiful. I had forgotten all of that, as the last time I was in Athens was in college. I think I saw Phish at the Georgia Theater. Or Colonel Bruce. Or maybe it was Dave Matthews. Some fixture from the HORDE tour. I can't remember. It was a long, long time ago. Like early 90s long time ago. Point is, I have changed since my freshman year of college, and Athens, I imagine, has changed too.

The only people I know who don't seem to like Athens are people loyal to Columbia, SC. It stems from football and nothing else. Still, most of those people will grant that UGA has an embarrassment of riches when it comes to attractive girls. At any rate, I've heard mostly good things about Athens.

The music alone is reason enough to make a trip down there. Though, since I was living in Atlanta for a while, and later a short drive from Asheville (in Greenville), I could catch a lot of those great Athens shows at The Variety Playhouse and The Orange Peel. And, no, I'm talking about DMB or the Aquarium Rescue Unit.

I also hung out in Chapel Hill for a while, so Cat's Cradle further obviated my need to Mapquest the 40 Watt. Sooooooo, I was excited to make my long-awaited (by me) return to Athens.

But here's how we were welcomed: No more than 5 minutes had passed when we were approached by three cops on bicycles. They gave 4 out of the 6 of us open container tickets. They told us we weren't technically on campus, so we couldn't have an open beer at our tailgate. Sweet. We left that spot and I'd say about two hours later we decided to walk from a Cock tailgate to the game. I was approached by yet another cop who was staring at my hand. Not because it's a sexy hand, which it is, but because I had a beer in it. I threw the beer down before he could say anything, and I told him "my bad, it's gone". He didn't seem to like that, so he wrote me an open container ticket (on campus, mind you) and another ticket for littering my beer. Littering is by far the worst ticket you can get. You see, trashy people litter. And I am not a trashy person. Or so I thought. I've got a ticket that suggests otherwise.

Come to find out, a lot of people have problems with the Athens cops. And not just visitors.

This Dawg fan was annoyed a few years ago: Yeah!

Out some cash.

Anyway, I got into the game. A bit pissed off for sure, but I got into the game. I found a seat next to the Cock band. It wasn't our designated seat, but the guy I was with assured me it was okay. And it was. Until a few other guys decided to join us at the end of the third quarter and we were busted because of the commotion. I left without a fuss and tried to find some other friends (the guys I was with wanted to fight it out with the band leader). I couldn't find anyone, so I bought some peanuts and left the stadium. I walked to our truck and ate a cheeseburger at Wendy's. I then decided to catch the end of the game at a bar, so I walked to the nearest bar with a TV. I ended up at Flicker. A bar that may or may not be a gay bar. I also ended up in a conversation about Oklahoma with this guy: I like your boots.

I actually loved Flicker. I was really down on Athens until I found Flicker. In one small corner of the bar, they were showing the game. On the big screen they were showing "Footloose". Some guy there, who I don't think was gay, bought me a shot of Jameson's. I had to go to the bathroom immediately following it. I was there for probably two hours or so by myself. Just boozing and making small talk with guys with mustaches. I love Flicker.

A short time after I was dry heaving in the bathroom, one of my friends found me at my new favorite bar. he convinced me to leave with him to go out looking for whores and fights. We found a lot of both, but didn't partake in either. Instead, we bought a street-side kielbasa and walked back to our truck (after a few more beers at some lame bar). We then went to Krystal, where we ate more delicious food. We then decided to take a nap before heading back to Charleston. I slept in the back of the truck for a couple of hours before I was awoken by a Gatorade shower. That was about 4:30am. My other really nice friend was the showerer. It did get me out of the truck, though. So for about two more hours I slept on a sofa. Around 7am I got up and drove us all to Waffle House, where we ate more delicious food and headed back to Charleston. Back in C-Town, I did some law work, which was flawless, no doubt, and reflected on a trip to Athens that won't soon be forgotten. I love that town. I love those cops. And I really love Flicker.