A lot has happened since we last spoke. The Officer and a Cheesedick jilted the psychotic Bevin. The Cavs (aka LeBron) knocked the Pistons out. The Yankees have managed to suck even harder. Billy Donovan flexed his vagina. Michael Vick flexed his thug. I think that awesome show The King of Queens went off the air. Blake lost Idol. Lohan tried drugs. Paris went to prison. Dr. Death got out of prison. And I got a dog from the shelter. Whew! Oh, and W The President continued to rule with an iron skull.

What have I been doing? Besides watching way too much TV and trying to get my new dog, Beulah, to fetch? Bowling. This past Saturday we had a magnificent turnout for our first ever Bowling For Important Stuff party at the Charleston Rifle Club (which is well on its way to being overrun by retards like myself). We raised around $1500 for School's Out, a non-profit I help out with occassionally (so that I can put it on my resume). I'd say about 70 people showed up - and showed out. Lots of dancing, bowling and cheap boozing. I broke someone's digital camera. And then broke it beyond repair when I tried to fix it. Let's see. What else happened? Nothing really.

As far as the news I failed to cover, a few things still stick out. Obviously, my adopted dog. She's great. A little Doberman/Rottweiler mix.

Which brings me to Michael Vick. I'm gonna go ahead and go all Nifong on him here: suspend the idiot for a year. He's guilty as sure as he's a risky starting fantasy QB. The dude has thug written all over his face. And I don't care what the culture is - that doesn't excuse it. Scoop Jackson, or whatever his name is, was kind of justifying dog fighting as part of poor, Southern culture. He wasn't necessarily condoning it, but he was, in a way, sticking up for Vick. You know, there's another part of Southern culture that is hard to understand unless you grow up around it. It's called racism. Yeah, you wouldn't understand it. It's just part of the culture. Seriously, if you watched that dog fighting video on Outside the Lines, you'd want Vick to clean out his locker. It was sad and disturbing. And, like racism, there is absolutely no excuse for it . . . and no place for it.

The other thing that really bothers me is the Billy Donovan thing. This is the latest trend in sports: people going back on their word like they've just misordered at Applebee's. Dude, you've had weeks to figure it out. How can you fuck it up this badly?

As far as the Weekly Geekly column goes, I missed my deadline. I was out of town for a bit and then I spaced because of the bowling party. That after I hounded the guy about writing for them. Awesome. The cool thing was that it was going to be a competition. All of the potential writers were to write a 500-word piece on the latest lame-ass networking site where pet owners live vicariously through their pets, and the folks at The City Paper were going to pick the best writer. I was excited about it. Oh well.

Til next time, I'll be slacking off . . .