Yes! That headline is back! Anyway, did you happen to catch Tony snuffing out Christopher and then going on a Homer-esque (not The Iliad variety) peyote quest? All that was missing was Johnny Cash as his spirit guide. They did close out with a banging Calexico number, "Minas De Cobre". Fantastic song. And the week before? Another California band: Los Lobos. The Sopranos last season should make for a great soundtrack. Especially if they throw that Howlin' Wolf song in there ("Goin' Down Slow").

Speaking of music and killing people, I had the good fortune of cruising to Savannah aboard the Shady Lady, a 26-foot Shamrock, I think it was. From Charleston, it's about a 4 or 5-hour ride. Plenty of sun and beer and good music. We were greeted in Savannah by some more good music. First, at Pinky Master's, where the jukebox cranked out Neutral Milk Hotel among others, and latter at Hang Fire, where I remember hearing Television's "See No Evil". The only other thing I remember from Hang Brains was a foursome sitting on two sofas. A friend and I decided to sit down with them. We were a bit tired, understandably. This visibly disturbed the two we were sitting next to. One other guy on our trip was hanging around looking for a place to sit, and when the two we sat next to realized this, they moved over to the sofa with their two friends on it and offered their space to our guy. But not before belittling us. My friend sitting next to me was wearing Crocs and Khakis (great boating gear), so when the two strangers on our sofa moved over, the male stranger made a comment about how his girlfriend was allergic to Crocs and Khakis. He and his friends had a good laugh. After all, it was hysterical. I gave the guy a makeshift business card with my URL on it so that he could read this blog at a latter date. I told him to check the site on Monday. I should have said Tuesday. Anyway, what bothered me so much was that we were in what anyone would call an alternative, ultra-liberal watering hole. It seemed to be frequented by SCAD students and SCAD wannabes.

The whole scene struck me as a bit hypocritical. After all, I didn't make any comments about all of the body ink or barbs sticking through people's eyebrows. I couldn't care less. And I certainly didn't pass judgment. What had my friend done other than put on a pair of Crocs? Nothing. You know the old saying about assuming, right? Yep, it makes an ass out of you that me would like to fingerbang. Why do you care what we wear? What the hell does that have to say about a person? It says much more about you than it does about the wearer. The truth is there are no safe options out there anymore. If I want to forgo looking like a Lacoste ad, I just end up looking like an American Apparel ad. If I take off my $200 jeans, I end up looking like a guy who drives out of the way to find thrift store Wranglers (which I do own). We are all dressing a part. You with your tattoos and camo pants and me with my khakis and blue button down (which I also bought at a thrift store, by the way). And if we strip down to our bare skin, we end making an even louder statement. Remember Andrew Martinez? I'm sure you do, because you read a lot and are very cultured. We're all trying hard to look like something or someone. However, if you don't have a mirror in your apartment, I apologize for judging you like you judged us.

Another funny thing, bearded guy, is that of the 50 people in that bar, we looked the most different. You seemed to be the one conforming. Am I wrong or were there not three dozen of your doppelgangers in there? Oh, and can you believe I listen to Television? And can you believe I saw The Clientele that Friday night? Does it make me cool? Nope. It's just something I do with my free time. Like you and your art or coffee drinking or whatever. So the next time you see some guys you think are fratastic, stop and find out something about them before you chuckle at their "ignorance". As I tell everyone I meet, I'm much smarter than you (the plural you) and I will rape you (the plural you) while you (the plural you) sleep. It just comes with being really, really, ridiculously smart. Anyway, I've got to run. I just got a call from Ben Silver; my monogrammed bowtie has arrived!