If you happen to be that SCAD guy I talked to at Hang Fire in Savannah, you'll have to wait another few hours before I get to you. I'm sure you're upset.

Anyway, I'm what you'd call fairly liberal. I embrace diversity and fight for the little guy. Two traits you won't find in any of the GOP candidates. However, I do tend to stereotype from time to time (and this does play into the SCAD theme - more on that latter). This post is about driving and black people. Like oil and water, you say? Perhaps. All I know is that if I could design a car for African Americans (like the Escalade), I'd take out the blinkers and the rearview mirror. They seem to be superfluous. And before you call me a racist, I am an equal opportunity offender (or, rather, fact-stater). White men, it turns out, cannot jump. And they can't dance either. They also dial the phone just like Tracy Jordan said they do. Boop, beep, boop, bloop. White people also generally have sticks up their asses. And white people don't buy into a sense of community quite like minorities do. I'm sure it was a white man who invented the fence, the cul de sac, and the covered garage. Yes, there are many things the white man can learn from his black neighbor. Driving, however, is not one of them. 9 times out 10, if I am cut off by a car that doesn't so much as signal, it is a minority driver. If I am following a car that is taking up both lanes of Rutledge Avenue at an average speed of 12mph, it is a minority driver that I zoom past when I find an opening. If I have to swerve over into another lane because the car next to me decided that my lane seemed like a great lane to be in at the time, it is a minority steering the wayward sedan. What troubles me, though, is that minority drivers constiute the majority of these incidents. Look, I love black people. Maybe even more than white people. I just think a lot of them need some driving lessons. And it could be that uneducated people are the ones who can't drive, and in urban settings (like the one in which I live), the majority of uneducated people happen to be minorities. That is a problem for all of us: public education. But fixing that will take decades. Driving 101 would only take a few hours.