I just got back from a meeting with a web programmer. We we went over a website for a non-profit I'm working on called "School's Out". I agreed to do the free work because I thought it had something to do with Alice Cooper. I was way wrong and I'm now paying the price.

We joked about the subpar copy in the Charleston area. Seriously, it pretty much blows no matter how you slice it. And it's because no one wants to pay for copy. After all, we all know how to write and that's what copy is, right? Wrong. Copy can make or break an ad. At least when you're talking about anything other than used cars and pawn shops. This is especially the case when your photogrpahy leaves a lot to be desired. When you don't have a picture, you better have a thousand words. A thousand well-crafted words. Though you can usually settle for few well-crafted words.

No one around here wants to pay for photography either. Digital cameras can be blamed for that as much as hubris, ignorance and frugalness can. For a year or so I worked with a high-end window distributor, and by high-end I mean these windows cost more than most people's homes. Still, the literature and sales materials were JV. So I had some contacts work up quotes for photoshoots. But the head honcho thought the quotes were too expensive, so he flew some dude over from Germany (where he's from) to shoot our products. What we ended up with were thumbs in the pictures, shadows over our windows and no real way to access the photos. But we saved money! To this day, they're still using the same old literature, much of which is in German. Here, this might convince you to spend $250,000 on some mahogany windows: Die! Scheinfreud, der weinershitz, gutenburgen! Sold!

Anyway, I just wish people would spend the money on marketing so that their marketing would mirror the quality of their product - not the product with fingers blocking the blurred edges, but the actual product. I've been fortunate enough to work with a developer who listens to reason, who values the opinion of others. On one project in particular we didn't have good photography (or drawings), so we used long copy to tell the story (because of his unique product, there was a story to tell). And I think we told it better than a rendering with the words "a better life is closer than you think" placed underneath could have. Although "Carpe Loftum" is darn compelling.

As for working with people who listen to you, I always equate it with going to the doctor. You don't schedule an appointment to get Xrays and have blood work done only to tell the doctor what it is you need. Hopefully, you listen to - and take - the doctor's advice. That's what he or she (who are we kidding?) is good at: diagnosing a problem and offering a solution. That's not what you're good at, so shut your fucking mouth. "I'm sorry, son, but you have gonorrhea." "Actually, Doc, you're wrong. I have Sickle Cell Anemia. And I want to take HeadOn to cure it." Now do you see how dumb you sound? So here's the first of three inserts that went into Savannah's (SCAD's) weekly paper - sorry for the two up thing:

And, yeah, they were printed on recycled paper. Sure, they're not groundbreaking. But they're also not hideously idiotic. Anyway, I left advertising for many reasons. One being that I couldn't cut it, another being that it became too robotic. I can do the robot, but I am no robot.

Speaking of machines, this song has been stuck in my head for weeks now - it's awse! See how that wonderful copy and exclamation point just sold you on this song?? God, I'm good at what I rarely do . . . so grab some speakers and that tall drink of water and start making out already . . .