Sorry Rucker.

Apple iPod Goes U2 On Us. Again. I bought the last one right when it came out. The only thing I ever put on it is U2. And some Coldplay. But the ratio is like 20:1. Anyway, I've already ordered one of the new ones. So do you think Bono will sleep with me now? I don't want to settle for The Edge again.

That Video Is Hot! No, Seriously, That Video Is On Fire. If one side of your face recently caught flames while recording your son's groundout to first, there may be an explanation. Still nothing to explain your child's ineptitude.

The 12th Beatle Dies. Yoko Ono Nowhere To Be Found. Will it go up to heaven? Heaven?

Houston Oilers Lose To Miami Hurricanes In Game 1. Or something like that. That Gretzky was some player.

Sperm Don't Age Well? Tell that to the washcloth under my bed. That thing is lookin' grrrreat! To say nothing of its taste.

Road Rage Is a Medical Disorder? Sure. Maybe I'll ask my doctor about that when I go in to take care of my Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) once and for all. Is it bad, Doc?