iTunes Is Bigger and Better Than Jesus. This we all know. But one of the best things about iTunes isn't the accessible music, it's the customer comments. They run the gamut from idiotic all the way to idiotic. It's essentially a blog like this one. No news. Terrible writing. Rarely updated. Just plain fun. Hey, like the South Carolina Education Lottery. Just plain. Just plain fun! But I digress. So, anyway, some highlights from the pages of iTunes, all of which inspired me to click the 'buy album' button:

* I've left those errors unedited in cases where it helps the overall feel of the piece. I think editors insert 'sic' or something like that. But I'm not an editor, so I don't.

The High Llamas: Retrospective, Rarities and Instrumentals - The idea of musical genius grows and changes in close association with the evolution of music itself. The history of that idea is inseparable from the history of music and the concept of the musician as it developed from the ancient times. ***** - bartwell Ahhh, the ancient times. Where blowhards like you were mauled, mid-sentence, by saber toothed tigers.

Animal Collective: Feels - The more I listen to this album the closer I feel to finding the meaning of life. ***** - JD Luker But I bet today you'll settle for finding the prize in your King Vitamins, huh?

Frank Black: Honeycomb - Give this album five spins or more before judging the disk (pardon my vinyl analogies). **** - fleabag Oh, you must have a mad vinyl collection. Can we fuck already?

Calexico: Garden Ruin - These guys are great. Check 'em out. And the people who gave ONE STAR are obviously not real music fans. **** Sentimentalmachine.com I mean, Sentimentalmachine, that goes without saying.

Grandadddy: Just Like The Fambly Cat - I am trying to learn how to skateboard at the moment and "Skateboarding Saves Me Twice" is perfect for inspiring me :) sets a chill tone with a good beat. I love it. ***** HYDROG3N FYI: Skateboarding won't save you even once. Anyway, good luck with that, Tony Hawk :)

The Stills: Without Feathers - I know it's not totally fair to rate this album without actually purchasing it, but I feel I must speak. ** - Anonymous Spoken like a true critic.

Drive-By Truckers: The Dirty South - Wow! Drive-By Truckers are amazing. I wanna go see them and the Black Crowes and Robert Randolf in concert this summer, but it's unlikely. ***** - Anonymous Yeah, I bet you'll be busy curing cancer or something.

Modest Mouse: Good News For People Who Like Bad News - This album has some incredible songs, especially if you don't listen to the radio (I hear "Float On" gets tiring). **** - badamshockey (I hear you work at Radio Shack.)

Belle and Sebastion: The Life Pursuit - Another outstanding Belle and Sebation CD. Too many good songs to list, but "We Are The Sleepyheads" is a standout song, along with "Funny Little Frog" and "To Be Myself Completely" and "Another Sunny Day". ***** - Crabbito You just got through telling us there were too many to list. So which is it, Crabbito?

Scott Walker: Drift - Album of the decade! ***** - Anonymous I'd want to remain anonymous, too.

Scott Walker: Drift - This guy is joking right? He is obviously joking. I would listen to Ashlee Simpson, The Spice Girls, Kelly Clarkson and Aaron Carter on repeat all day before buying this guy's album. * Anonymous Hmmm. Those names sure seemed to roll off your tongue pretty easily.

J Dilla: Donuts - His beats changed my life. Rest in peace James Yancey. ***** - Anonymous So what were you doing before you were sharing your opinions on iTunes?

Murs: Murray's Revenge - I had never heard this guy to be honest with you. I was hooked after 2 seconds. I have got to get this CD. ***** - Yonicman So hooked, apparently, that you still haven't bought this CD.

Soul Position: Things Go Better With RJ and AL - Expected better from this CD. True to its underground roots and not any of that crappy stuff marketed as rap nowadays. However, too much hating on the mainstream. ** Anonymoun The crappy mainstream.

Heiruspecs: A Tiger Dancing - I'm no hip-hop or rap afficianado, but this group is simply spectacular. **** - Zeller I'm no doctor, but you're fucking retarded.

Madonna: Confessions On a Dance Floor - As a fan who has followed madonna since the beginning of her career, I feel like we've grown up together. ***** - Leo1221 And I'm sure she feels the same way. You should call her up!

Shakira: Oral Fixation, Vo.l 2 - OMG "Hips Don't Lie" is the BEST song I've ever heard! ***** - Anonymous Sure you don't mean ONLY?

Nick Lachey: What's Left Of Me - While Jessica Simpson may be the media's darling, I say Nick is the cat's meow. ***** - Kyan I say you know a thing or two about restraining orders.

Jewel: Goodbye Alice In Wonderland - Jewel has a voice that resonates with me at the core. It doesn't hurt that she is a poet, which means that every song is a gift from deep inside. ***** - Richie920 No comment.

Styx: The Complete Wooden Nickel Recordings - Fuck all! This Styx album is the only thing I've got on my iPod. It moves me. It tells me what to do. Who to be. Who to kill, etc. ***** - Chadrucker14 Go get 'em, Tiger!