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Monday, May 22
Say It Ain't Soda!
Can I sleep on your floor tonight?
Give me some time to set this right.
Where's your head? There's nothing for you here.
Nothing's wrong - take a look around and you'll see it clear.
And it's Barbaro by 2 furlongs!
Bar-Bar-Bar-Bar-Barbaro. Funny how every year the Kentucky Derby winner is a shoo-in for the Triple Crown. It's also funny how, right there at the tracks, we still euthanize horses with similar breaks to Barbaro's. One would think we would have made enough medical breakthroughs in the past century or so to obviate that sort of thing. Then again, one would hate to see all those glue jokes suffer. Perhaps there are lobbyists for that. Pony Time.
Got Twins? Consuming milk and other dairy products, it has been discovered, makes your chances of giving birth to twins 5 times more likely! Unless you're a man, of course. That's right, if you're a man you're now just 5 times more likely to throw away all of the dairy products in your fridge. And beat your wife the next time you see her eating yogurt.
If You Saw A Bloodbath At Church Yesterday, This Story Might Open Some Day-Old Wounds: Too soon?
Nagin Avoids Defeat Thanks To The Chocoholic Vote. They do always turn out. New Orleans: Now with even more creamy nougat!