Did Ya Miss Me? Exactly. And I know you all know that I heart Swayze like mad. Well, this was forwarded to me today, so enjoy . . .


Barry Bonds Injects Some Excitement Into Our National Pastime. Did you catch that? How about that? Because I can be really clever.

Liz Taylor Says She Doesn't Have Alzheimers. But this Liz Taylor person people keep asking her about might. Depends are a girl's best friend.

This Is What They Meant By "All Is Fair In Love And War", Right? Nothing like a little unprovoked slaughter to boost morale.

Clemens An Astro Again. So that's about $3mil/win?

Bear Attacks Woman Inside Their Home. That's right, their home. No more pic-i-nic baskets.

Kennedy Visits Lithuania? Dude didn't just blow over. He blew a liter of Stoli. Dude, where's my liver?

Luke Skywalker Will And Can Kick Your Ass. Welcome to the fucked-up shop.

3 Climbers Die After Reaching Everest Summit. Probably from the Chalupas. At least their relatives won't have to sit through the slideshows.

And a final word on the new KFC ads: WTF? To bring you up to speed . . .

Man: What's good here?

Woman: Well, our creamed corn, our mashed potatoes, our fried chicken, our coleslaw, our biscuits and I really love our Key Lime Pie!

Man: Perfect. I want it all. But in layers. Starting with the coleslaw.

Woman: What say we top it all off with our spicy gravy and three-cheese blend?

Man: What say you just read my mind, biatch!

VO: Introducing our newest way to keep you from visiting one of our chains, unless you're either retarded or morbidly obese. Or both.

"Sweet Home Alabama" Up and Under . . .