The Oscars Got It All Wrong. Crash wins Best Picture? Come on. Paul Haggis seems like such a hack. And wasn't this movie ridiculously heavy-handed? Give me gay love in a lean-to over that formula any day of the week. No Oscar for the Oscars: You're black therefore you steal.

Engineer Robson. A great friend of mine on MySpace documents his talks with an "African" who needs an American bank account to deposit his riches into. Hilarious: He's good for it.

Just When You Think It Can't Get Any Worse For The Super Family. Kinda makes you think your life isn't so bad after all. Then again, I never was faster than a speeding bullet. And I suck at flying.

Yanni Beats His Girlfriend (BF?) After Catching Her In Bed With Kenny G. Oh, and absolutely crucial to your understanding of this story is that Yanni told police that he thinks he "may have injured his finger during the incident". My money says it got caught on something when he scratched her. The horror!

Brad Renfro, A Dolly Grip's Dolly Grip. Okay, but certainly a cliche. Heroine? Now, that's original!

Apparently, We're All Doomed To Darkness. 'Cept Brad Renfro. I'm skeerd.

I'll be gone for a couple of days. I'm going to pummel somebody into liking me. Til my return, buy some of my cards to the left over there.