Something Is Rotting In Reddick. Those of you watching the Blue Devils last night were treated to some mighty fine bitchketball. The Dukies shot about 25%, looked lethargic and handled the ball like a church-league center. It was like they were all battling for the highest trillion. Reddiculoso.

Basketball Aliaseseses. How can you not register as Michael Jordan every time? Or Jesus Christ?

Breaking News: Cheney Likes Fox News! No mention of oil or a battery charger. What Robots Want.

Exit Chef. The episode summed up in a line: "We shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us," Kyle says at the funeral. "We should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brains." She blinded me with Scientology.

Maverick Jumps Around On Furniture Again. Convincing me, finally, that his love is real and his mind is sane. And his abs are fabulous!

Omega 3 Fatty Acids May Not Be As Phat As Once Thought. So it must be the rice. Want to blow out 100 candles one day?

Tiger Said To Be Trying To Win a Tournament. Which, by the way, is depressing to watch, because the weather there is as dreary as it is here. What happened to spring?


Recipe of the Day:
Emeril's Old-Fashioned Creamed Corn With a Side of Essence

6 ears corn, shucked
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups water
Salt and white pepper

Use a sharp paring knife to cut the tips of the corn kernels off the cob, keeping as much of the kernel intact on the cob. Transfer the corn tips to a bowl. Using the back of a heavy chef's knife, scrape the corn cobs thoroughly to release the remainder of the corn off the cob into the bowl, making sure to include any released corn "milk" that is released from the corn-cob-wielding rapist.

Heat the butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Once melted, add the corn and flour to the pan and cook, stirring often, until thickened, about 5 minutes. Add some commas. Reduce the heat to medium-low and add the water, salt and pepper, and continue to cook, stirring occasionally. A crust will form on the bottom of the pan from time to time - be sure to scrape the bottom of the pan well when stirring and continue to cook, stirring frequently towards the end, until the corn is very creamy, 30 to 40 minutes. Rub all over your body. Salt and pepper to taste.

Yield: 4 side dish servings, 2 years probation, 7 minutes in Chad Rucker's lap.