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Monday, December 12
Extra! Extra! Green All About It!
You had to check out Steve Martin as he started to work. He was doin' freaky moves with his feet and head, with his blue farmer suit and his big Pro-Keds. - EPMD Buy it for your special thing!
Designer Kindling! What will Hollywood think of next? That's right, Cheaper By The Dozen Pt. 2. Those geniuses! Anyway, Jennifer Anniston has Lawrence Steele to thank for her most recent bonfire. Oh, and some guy named Brad. Hubba, hubba! Burn, baby, burn.
Cheaper By The Movie, Pt. 1. Steve Martin, I can overlook your casting in Shop Girl, but not this. I'm starting to lose respect. There's no way you need the money. Everytime I see the trailer for your newest pratfilled comedy, I forget one more scene from The Jerk. A long way from that poor black child.
Crips Founder Terminated. Arnold does not grant clemency to the Nobel Prize nominee. Police in the area are bracing for the possibility of a scene straight outta GTA: San Andreas. Up, up, down, down.
Boomerang Warfare Breaks Out In Sydney. Where are you when we need you, Crocodile Dundee? No rules, just right.
Wikipedia Prankster Is Now The Definition of Unemployed.Which might not be a bad thing.
For Your Health: Tea Bags Reduce Ovarian Cancer Risk. Great news for the Vivid girls.
Urbina Throws A Mean Machete. If you missed this story back in the fall, it's worth revisiting. ESPN recently sent a reporter to the prison to let Ugie shed some more light on the story, without using gasoline. Still a little dark.
Texas Plays Like Number 2. Reddick hits 48 3's.
Colin Farrell Checks Into Rehab Just Like John Smith Would Have Done. Apparently, the hot star of Alexander and the upcoming drama, The New World, is a bit too dependent on prescription meds. If I had to guess, I'd say probably not Nexium. Or Tagamet.
Sienna Miller Would Like To Talk To You. The things she revealed to Access Hollywood while detailing the 7 topics she'd like to cover were fascinating. A couple of my faves (in her own words): Number 3. The Perils of the Internet. I think that it's had a really detrimental effect on celebrities. One bored person can sit there and make up something, put it on the Internet, and two minutes later it's everywhere. It's scary. You develop pretty thick skin, but I tend to get emotional. Number 6. My Rotten Vagina. I've tried a lot of different products, I've even tried controlled burns, but nothing seems to really give me that springtime freshness. It's like a catfish swam up my vaj and died. But not before taking a huuuuge dump. Summer's Eve?
Courtesy Of The Onion: More Americans Falling For 'Get Rich Slowly Over A Lifetime Of Hard Work' Schemes. That link. Voice Of God Revealed To Be Cheney On Intercom. This link.
Suspended Sprinters Should Be Ashamed Of Themselves. For ever sprinting. I'm sorry, but the suspensions of Tim Montgomery and some other runner, let's call him Ben Goldenshoes, don't qualify as news. And Montgomery is even from my home town. But the fact that it's not newsworthy does (kinda). No one cares about sprinters anymore. Or The World Games. Or The Olympics, for that matter. If it's not a professional sport, i.e if the participants haven't beeen nicknamed by Berman or sucked dry by Scott, Americans probably don't care about it. These amateur games were fine when we hated the Russians. But neither Syria nor Afghanistan is going to field a great gymnasitics team anytime soon. And even if they did, Americans on the whole aren't going to find some sort of satisifaction by beating them in everything. The world is flat. The ratings are surely falling. Don't believe me? Then tell me when and where the next summer Olympics are being held. And three people not on the basketball team participating in them. The only thing these games are good for is the local economy. And pedophiles' fantasies. Sport?
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i think this is the first bliggity with out a Koonce/Thode/Rucker/Cvammen cameo.
Frankly, I'm disgusted with you.
Make sure your legs are crossed at all times unless you like corn cobs.
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Frankly, I'm disgusted with you.
Make sure your legs are crossed at all times unless you like corn cobs.
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