We're gonna break it to your folks tonight. Kind of hope your pops dont hear me right, ooh yeah. - Adam Green buy it for kimya!

You Missed Me. You Really, Really Missed Me. And in case you missed the news as much as you missed me over these past two weeks (cold coffee):

Quitters Sometimes Win. Harriet Miers folds like the little girl she is and claims she made the decision so that sealed documents would remain sealed. Sure! http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,173769,00.html

Miers Opens Revolving Door For Alito! This just in: Bush nominates conservative Alito. Naturally, as a Bushbot, he had to have a nickname: Scalito!
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/10/31/ap/politics/mainD8DJ3BGO3.shtml

Life Will Get Back To Normal. Especially If "Shitty" Was "Normal" For You. Bush waxes poetic on the subject of hurricanes. http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=1256499

Apparently There Was a World Series. I'm sorry, but fuck the White Sox. http://mlb.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp?ymd=20051027&content_id=1261378&vkey=ps2005news&fext=.jsp

Romo Used Roids. Truth be told, Bill's drug use was suspected after JJ Stokes' eyes developed super powers, but now it's officially confirmed. Well, on 60 Minutes last week it was. http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9689875/

Teddy Bruschi Play Football Good. Teddy tackle people. Teddy need feeding tube soon. http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/columns/story?columnist=smith_michael&id=2208963

Giants Kick The Skins Off Their Land, Rape Their Children, Steal Their Corn And Force Them To Drink Away Their Gambling Winnings. The no skunks or whitewashes rule was decided prior to the game so they had to play the full 4 quarters, which was great news for anyone who had Tiki on their fantasy team. A side note: Win or lose, Chris Berman would have attributed it to Mara's death. Inpiration or devastation, depending upon the outcome. You sports reporters are the best! http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=nfl/week8/damn-moment

Condom Malfunction. Janet Jackson is in the news again. http://www.sky.com/showbiz/article/0,,50001-1200555,00.html

Beta Makes a Comeback. VHS makers hoping for about 20 more hurricanes. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,173973,00.html

Desperate Housewife Apparently Not That Desperate. I care! http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/5182664/detail.html

H5 Virus Found in Canada. But I'm sure our border patrol will keep it out of this great land, so keep laughing. http://www.canada.com/national/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=9705d992-07c4-457a-a38f-8f40c33fd1fc

Trick or Treat. Or just sit on my lap and call me "Daddy" while I braid your hair. http://www.whns.com/Global/story.asp?S=4047082

Doctor Feelgood. An upstate SC man posed as doctor and gave breast exams that included a suspicious amount of nipple tweaks and grunts to unsuspecting "jugalicious babes" or "women with at least C cups" to you laymen. http://www.whns.com/Global/story.asp?S=3943537&nav=menu149_3

The Pulitzer-Winning Video of Dr. Phil: http://www.whns.com/global/video/popup/pop_playerLaunch.asp?clipid1=558494&at1=News&vt1=v&h1=Man+Arrested+For+Impersonating+Doctor&d1=178266&redirUrl=www.whns.com&activePane=info&LaunchPageAdTag=homepage

I'll Take 'Somebody Hose That Man Down' For 70, Alex. http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/tix/106341149.html

EP Update: Chad Rucker Still Punching In Over At The Ole Factory. Tater planning to send the entire staff the best joke he's heard in quite some time. Cvammen moves on to nudes.

P.S. Heard the new Firehouse radio. I thought Sean quit??