I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and French-Fried potatoes. - Jimmy Buffet don't buy it, it sucks! seriously!

There's nothing like a chili-cheeseburger - all the way - with freshly cut fries and a side of slaw to start your day. If you're ever in the area (Upstate SC), you must pay a visit to Ike's. It's smack dab in the middle of an old mill village, which means it was decorated with PBR and NASCAR in mind. For dinner, it has to be the Spice (as in Sugar 'n). And if you're feeling lucky, maybe the Beacon for breakfast. Just make sure you go into it with a will, for your arteries will be flowing as well as 285 around rush hour. And by the way, Jimmy Buffet has no fucking clue as to what makes a good burger. Or a good song.

TO TO TO TO! I'm still not taking you before the 6th Round. Hobo Bush don't play that. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/writers/peter_king/08/15/mmqb/

Behind The Music: Hobo Bush http://www.upstatelink.com/issues/2004/12/27/2004122755670.htm

Man's Fantasy Is Girlfriend's Nightmare. No, it's not the menage a trois or bottom sex or dressing up like a Catholic school girl, it's fantasy football and it can be even more difficult for the farier sex to deal with than the aforementioned hackneyed fantasies. Yep, 5 months of putting up with you logging onto your computer at 2AM, stressing out about trades all week and not leaving the TV all day Sunday or Monday night or, heck, now not even Wednesday night, will have your girlfriend wishing your fantasies only dealt with knee-high socks and plaid skirts. Oh well, it's that time of the year again, so my only suggestion is that you share some of your winnings with your lady. It's the right thing to do. Let's just hope that's not the most chivalrous thing you ever do. And your getting up to get the washcloth doesn't qualify. The best place to get your game on and piss your girlfriend off: http://cbs.sportsline.com/fantasy

Lefty He Can't Sing The Blues. Because he's holding the Wanamaker Trophy! Alls I know is the Paxil or Xanax he's been taking is working like a charm (even though he does have a creepy, medicated smile on his face all the time now). And Tiger, who we all thought was out of it, waaay out of it, somehow finished two shots back. As much as I dislike Woods (after all, he is a succesful minority), I wanted so badly to see a playoff with his ginormous teeth in it. http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8961619/

Firebird Festival Sputters Across The Finish Line. This past weekend's Firelake Festival went off without a hitch, say festival coordinators, but also without a crowd, say locals. Early estimates suggest anywhere between 5 and 7 people showed up for the Noodlefest held in Gaffney, SC. http://www.firelakefestival.com/

This Will Only Hurt A Little Bit. Man shot his wife, who was in an Atlanta hospital recovering from heart surgery, then turned the gun on himself. And pulled the trigger. Which fired a bullet. Into his skull. Which ended his life. And some people say I over-explain!!http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/national/AP-Hospital-Shootings.html

Marine Of The Year Does Something Very Unmarine Of The Year-Like. And so he's arested on attempted murder charges. http://www.edmontonsun.com/News/World/2005/08/15/1173958-sun.html