There's been a place for you in my heart since we first met; a teenage love that didn't feel no hurt yet. My boys warned me you was poison like BBD first cassette, and still I put my chips on the worst bet. - Madvillain buy it!

Phil and Kobe. Episode II. The floundering Lakers hired The Zen master. Again. Unfortunately for Los Angeles, he's not 7 ft tall, he doesn't weigh 300 lbs. and he doesn't have a Superman tattoo on his arm. http://www.nba.com/lakers/news/jackson_050614.html

Disney World: The Time of Your Life. If the one thing you've always wanted to do in life was to die. Mission: Space was the scene of a 4 yr old kid's timely demise. Sorry, make that untimely. Anyway, they still have no idea what caused the child's death. And since it technically happened at Epcot Center, they have not ruled out boredom.
http://www.nationalledger.com/scribe/archives/2005/06/4_year_olds_dea.shtml

God "Big Fan" of Dave Matthews Band. Well, a back-up quarterback for the Seminoles who claims he's God is a big fan. But who are we to doubt this guy? 1st Corinthians, Verse 3: Thou Mortals Shalt Not Doubt His Holiness, No Matter How Many Beast Lights He Might Have Drunkeneth! Sold! So though the jury's still out on what Jesus would do, we now know exactly what God would do. He would noodle to DMB, get a hankerin' for some acid and a case of beer, pass out on a Tallahassee street, and wake up to a refreshing Pepper Spray Shower. I Believe! That means the only question left is for Coach Bowden: Dude, I know you're hardcore and all, but how the fuck can you bench God?
http://cbs.sportsline.com/collegefootball/story/8563229

Jacko is Backo. Experiences first "boner" since the "buzzkill" that was his trial. It took a while for the mood to strike him, say Kool Aid-mustached reports, but an afternoon spent watching Nickelodeon gave the weary Jackson a little bulge, or as he calls it, a "basket of lollipops". Way to go, Jury! http://mjjsource.com/

Vicarious Bummer. I always joked that if someone stole my identity, the cops would find them hanging from a noose within 24 hrs. Yeah, anyway, the following blig is all about living vicariously through two folks while they travel to and fro this summer. The problem is that they're doing nothing but taking contrived pictures and talking about God. Show me your tits or something. I'll even settle for the guy's breasts. Anything but more of this campfire-friendly chatter. http://www.vicarioussummer.com/

Schiavo Autopsy Strengthens Husband's Bid for Heaven. The vindicated husband is no longer going to Hell. "At least not for this", he tells reporters. He's now planning a two-week (or longer) demonstration outside of Terri's parents' house with signs reading "Told U So" and "Dead Right". http://www.cbc.ca/storyview/MSN/world/national/2005/06/15/schiavo050615.html

Smoking Hastens Ageing! In other news, beer gets you drunk! The ciggy study, which was not a waste of money, made no mention of how much cooler they make you. Guess that one is a given. http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3314778a11,00.html