Tender love is blind; it requires a dedication. All this love we feel needs no conversation. We ride it together, ah-ah, makin' love with each other, ah-ah. - Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers buy it, big country!

401st Richest Man In America Celebrates. Sam Walton's family mourns the loss of John Walton, the 7th wealthiest man in America, according to the Forbes 400 list. His plane went down outside of Jackson Hole, a small mountain village where yours truly, along with every other graduate from a Liberal Arts college, lived for spell. http://edition.cnn.com/2005/US/06/27/obit.walton/

Spring Break Shark Attack: More Than a Riveting Made-For-TV Movie. As a second kid is attacked off the coast of Florida, tourists are being urged to stay out of the water, despite that fact that their aqua socks, hemp necklaces and neon tank tops are begging to be bloodied. http://www.voanews.com/english/2005-06-27-voa46.cfm

BTK Killer Pleads Guilty. BLT Killer Pleads Tasty. The BTK chump is not eligible for the death penalty because the murders took place before Kansas had capital punishment, but I have a feeling he'll be beaten to death in prison. It's always the child molesters, baby killers, cannibals and freaky deakies who have the shortest shelf life in the clink. Welcome to prison, Mr. BTK, RIP. http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=3525039

Well-Hung Karl Malone Flashes Girl in Library! Insert pop-up book joke here. And check Malone hiding behind that pair of '86 Aviators. http://www.whns.com/Global/story.asp?S=3519326

Anti-Korean Abdul Fighting the Good Fight. Modern day heroes, like intelligent women, are hard to find. Just when you hang a poster of your favorite hero in your bathroom, he's found guilty of raping a dog or endorsing Scientology or something. But every so often, a true hero does emerge from this, our darkest hour. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Paula Abdul. Saving the world one manicure at a time.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/06/28/health/main704653.shtml

Reality Bites And Punches And Does Blow. Bobby Brown and Whitey Houston to star in a Newlyweds-like reality show called 'Being Bobby Brown'. Hey, it's their prerogative. Ha! Brown had this to say (seriously), "I mean, we slap box, and she hits hard, hard." He added, "I think [the show] brought us close together, because it showed us that we're just normal." Normal? Dude, what the fuck have you been smo - oh, nevermind. http://www.accesshollywood.com/entertainment/4656402/detail.html

So 'Being Bobby Brown' made me wonder if maybe we had reached the bottom of the reality barrel. We're close.

10 Reality Shows That Make 'Being Bobby Brown' Seem Like Must See TV

Being Al Roker
Hangin' With Mario Lopez
Get Real: Dennis Franz
The Baccalaureate
Keeping Up With the Star Joneses
The Osbournes Who Go To Our Church
Survivor: Spartanburg
Couric: A Season of Colonoscopies
Big Brother 7
Joe Gazillionaire

Marmalade Skies and No-Hitters. If I told you an MLB player pitched a no-hitter while on acid you'd think I was lying. And if I told he was black you'd probably think I was the one on acid. You'd be wrong on both counts, like you so often are. This guy's story is fascinating. It'll take the better half of your lunch break to read, but it's worth it. People claim Dock Ellis was more intimidating than Bob Gibson, the guy who's responsible for the lowering of pitching mounds back in '69. Ellis was apparently on his way to hitting every batter in the Reds' lineup before being thrown out. On another occasion, he climbed into the stands, sat next to a heckler, and began asking what had happened to the 'niggers' calling him 'nigger'. He was afraid of no one. And as an added bonus to the legend that is Dock Ellis, you get writing like this: The high-desert town of Victorville, California, is the last stop on the long road out of Los Angeles, and the place does little to embarrass the word "shithole." It's best known as the home of five prisons, some reportedly very good crystal meth and a kick-ass Long John Silver's; its primary attraction to residents is that, unlike the small towns across the mountains in California's central valley, its air does not always smell like burning tires and cowshit. Enjoy: http://www.dallasobserver.com/Issues/2005-06-16/news/feature_print.html

Anonymity in Jeopardy! Two reporters are facing jail time for not disclosing their confidential sources. It's a tangled web involving Bush, Robert Novak and spineless bullying. And it really doesn't look good for reporters believed to be on the left side of the fence. Or for sources close to family. http://www.concordmonitor.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050628/REPOSITORY/506280353/1013/NEWS03

Say It Ain't Sosa! Roenick says that fans who call NHL payers spoiled and greedy are just jealous. Yes, we're jealous that you're spoiled and we're not, dumbass. At the charity golf event where Roenick stated the obvious, he also added that an agreement might be reached in a few weeks. I look at hockey like Michael Wilbon looks at horses. In other words, I've really, really missed it. http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/news/story?id=2095862