When I was summoned to the phone, I knew in my bones that you had died alone.
- Silver Jews

Get your ass out of here! A pastor/activist bans Democrats from his quaint North Carolina church. After a Republican-only offering this past Sunday, the rational pastor reconsiders his ban. Or something like that. http://www.thecarolinachannel.com/news/4466358/detail.html

Perdador! Sergio Garcia gives ESPN another reason to air clips from Greg Norman’s 96 Masters collapse. http://msnbc.msn.com/id/7792623/

Hooray for crackers everywhere! Steve Nash wins the NBA MVP award. And with it, all those dreams I’ve been deferring are back on. Thanks for the inspiration! In related news: borrrring. http://www.irontontribune.com/articles/2005/05/09/sports/sports236.txt

Make no mistake, this guy’s a coroner, not a crooner. Yeah, I misread that and only now realize it’s nothing to laugh about. http://www.nbc5.com/news/4466309/detail.html?z=dp&dpswid=2265994&dppid=65193

Extra! Extra! The staff at the Times is "super-pissed", according to an anonymous source. http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=domesticNews&storyID=8429435

Runaway Bride has been a fuck-up since day one. The groom still stands beside her. Which means he must know where she’s hiding out. Which also means she must "suck an awful good dick" as they say in Canada.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/05/08/national/main693754.shtml

Stuart Scott. Still gay.