But sometimes, we remember our bedrooms, and our parents' bedrooms, and the bedrooms of our friends. Then we think of our parents, well what ever happened to them? - Arcade Fire

The Righteous Reverend George Bush, His Holiness Almighty. Congress passed a bill that would use federal dollars to fund programs that use stem cells from discarded embryos for research. Research that could enable Christopher Reeve to walk again. If he wasn't dead. The only legislation regarding stem cells that Bush has supported in the past had to do with stem cells that were already extracted from the discarded embryos. So, in effect, federal dollars were not supporting the future destruction of embryos, a consequence of extracting the cells. Anyway, the point is that Bush is "fin to put a veto on that ass". Or something about as articulate. Next on the agenda: Preserving cum rags throughout the Heartland.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/25/politics/25stem.html?th&emc=th

But how am I supposed to avoid my wife and kids? This guy (with the help of his wife) was making some valid points. I was all for changing the very nature of jobs, especially in America. You know, more time for the things that really matter. That is, until I realized the writer was probably just on a drunken rampage. Two alcohol references?
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/25/opinion/25miller.html?th&emc=th

Stroker Face. Burt Reynolds proves my theory that the kick-assedness of a kick-ass 'stache can not be contained by hairs alone, no matter their coarseness, and will subsequently spread beyond the 'stache and into the brain. He slaps a guy. Yes, slaps.
http://cbsnewyork.com/topstories/local_story_145094335.html

Fat Ass, By All Accounts, Still a Fat Ass. Man loses 500 pounds. And we're not talking money, that would be a ridiculous story to cover, we're talking weight, y'all. This man, let's call him Jared, weighed nearly 1100 lbs. At birth!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kidding. Still, he's got a long way to go before he reaches his target weight of 230 pounds. It may be the cynic in me, but I'm saying "No f'n way, Jared!" http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/05/25/AR2005052500719_pf.html

Bo Knows Victory. American Idol finale seems like it may be a bit anti-climactic. After all, in the past, we had people to hate. These guys are fine. That's it. Fine. Bo wins. They both make albums that sell. Blah, blah, blah. http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=790515

Is Injun Still PC? Clinton Talks "Tha HIV" With Indian Person. "So, I have this friend who mighta had sex with a few backwoods Arkansas skanks without a rubber . . ."
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2005-05/25/content_3002821.htm

Jackson Defense Rests. Jackson just "ready to get back to Neverland and hug his mastodons and dodo birds". Oh, and also "masturbate while flipping through a Cub Scouts pamphlet". http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/state/20050525-1106-ca-michaeljackson.html