You're a boomerang. You'll see. You will return to me. - Bright Eyes

Break out your kneepads. National Prayer Day is tomorrow. I'm praying for money. Lots and lots of money. It will fix all my problems. Also, I'll finally be able to rationalize my elitist views. http://www.nationaldayofprayer.org/

I heart America! Very reminiscent of the David Hasselhoff music video that sees him riding some sort of sled and also suggests that he can fly with nothing more than his toned and tanned arms. http://www.americawestandasone.com/video.html

Congratulations, Quiznos! You've made it acceptable to hate babies. For real, Baby Bob was never funny. He/it was always a bad idea created by some Family Circus-reading, striped suspender-wearing, middle-aged "goofy" uncle type. It sucks. Plain and simple.

Stuart Scott must be butter, because some burly man just dipped his corn cob into him. http://espn.go.com/magazine/scott_backtalk.html

The NBA Playoffs are on. Whoops, I meant to end that sentence with a question mark. Who the fuck cares? Basketball ends with March Madness.

Michael Jackson gets off! By looking at naked boys.